Journal Entry: Dec 16, 2021
I love my family. I really do. I’m excited that they’re all coming for Christmas. Yay! We don’t get to be together very often. It’ll be fun. So then why do I feel so apprehensive? This has been a really hard year and as I look back I was overwhelmed a lot. Maybe I’m just emotionally exhausted. That’s why I’m not exactly jumping up and down for joy about Christmas this year. Yikes! Where is everyone going to sleep? Maybe I should buy more toilet paper. And check the bath towel situation. Is everyone going to get along? Is everyone going to behave themselves? I am looking forward to all the good food. Yum!
We usually have so much fun cooking our favorite holiday dishes, But yuck! Am I up to the extra cleanup and mess and confusion? Please God, don’t let the power to go out or the hot water heater to break. I’m just not up to dealing with extra stress this year. So why is everyone coming again? What was I thinking inviting them?Well, it’s too late now. They’ve made their plans. Bought their plane tickets. So I might as well get myself prepared. Ok…so let’s think this through. Today I’ll make a list of all the chores I need to do before they arrive. I’ll go through my recipes and make my shopping list. I’ll look over the calendar and figure out what I’m going to do and when. If I map out my plan of attack maybe I’ll feel less anxious. It’s odd but I actually feel better just writing down my feelings and what I need to do. I think once I see it on paper it won’t be so overwhelming.
Then when they’re here, if I can just learn to keep my mouth shut. I’m not very good at that. I have a tendency to blurt out what I’m thinking. This is not the year to let my mouth get the best of me. I need to remember that I love each and every one of them in their own way and that is what’s most important. We’re family. This is the holiday season and I hope to be…no I need to be…no I WILL BE very positive and we’ll all have a great time.